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Twilight Sucks...And Not In A Good Way

I got this from :psa.blastmagazine.com/2008/08/16/twilight-sucks-and-not-in-a-good-way/

Here's a selection that most Clearly explains my feelings on the series:

"First and foremost, the books present a female heroine who can hardly take a step without needing some boy to rescue her. In fact, the books represent sexist views in almost every way-from the fact that Bella gives up her ambitions and plans for college to get married to Edward, the fact that she is portrayed as a modern Eve, begging the noble, moral gentleman for sex while he desires to preserve their virtue, the fact that their relationship is dangerously unhealthy, and finally to the fact that nearly every single female character in the book is a hopelessly negative caricature.

The series does not improve with subsequent books, either. In New Moon, Bella enters a self-described “zombie” state when Edward leaves her. In fact, the author oh-so-cleverly inserts blank pages with the months’ names as a poorly conceived plot device for showing the depths of her heroine’s pain and also to avoid having to write the “hard stuff.” Bella turns near-suicidal; she purposely puts herself in harm’s way-going so far as to jump off a cliff-to hear her lover’s imagined voice in her head.

What does this say to readers, bearing in mind that the target audience is the tragically impressionable 12-17 year old girls? That they should fall apart at the seams for months if their boyfriend leaves them? That reckless self-endangerment is okay, so long as it’s to be close to your lover? What a lovely message to send to young women."

I'll admit to enjoying the books while I read them, but by the time I got through it all I was so sick from it.  I'm actually really glad that I found this (again through StumbleUpon), because now I don't feel like such a fool.  I don't really have anymore to say because that section says it all for me.  Here's another song I've been into:
 

Down
Down is where I'm goin'
Pain is what I'm showin'
Love is what I'm takin'
Heart's what I'm breakin'

Theres a strong man lives up in Jackson Hole
Took my heart and he broke my soul
Left a dark place in my chest
I sleep but I don't rest
I sleep but I don't rest

SO

Down is where I'm goin'
Pain is what I'm showin'
Love is what I'm takin'
Heart's what I'm breakin'

Met a little boy in Baton Rouge
His eyes were clear and his heart was true
I made the boy's heart scream my name
But he didn't know the game
But he didn't know the game

SO

Down is where I'm goin'
Pain is what I'm showin'
Love is what I'm takin'
Heart's what I'm breakin'

You don't want to be standin' there
When the storm hits you won't have a prayer
My wind will blow you to your knees
Stay away from me
Stay away from me
Stay away from me

Down is where I'm goin'
Pain is what I'm showin'
Love is what I'm takin'
Heart's what I'm breakin'

Another StumbleUpon Treasure

Stephen Crane

In the Desert
 
In the desert
I saw a creature, naked, bestial,
Who, squatting upon the ground,
Held his heart in his hands,
And ate of it.
I said, "Is it good, friend?"
"It is bitter – bitter", he answered,
"But I like it
Because it is bitter,
And because it is my heart."

Six Word Stories

StumbleUpon is fantastic.  My two search preferences are Literature and Games (go figure) so this page called Six Word Stories pops up.  I'm assuming it came from that whole thing with Hemingway...you know. That thing.

Anyway, It reminded me that I should not be a schmuck and write.

Maybe I'll think of a six-word story.


I just bought Crazy Ex-Girlfriend by Miranda Lambert and it's super awesome.  Creepily appropriate for the past month/months/semester.  What I really like is the fact that she's supposed to be the Badass of Country, but a lot of her songs are about boys.  Some of them about getting ass, most of them about being heartbroken.  We're twin spirits, except that I'm not a badass.  There's also a song that mentions Missoula, and I freaked the fuck out.  I was in the car (by myself, no less) and was just like " oh my god. No way. NO WAY?!?!"  Clearly I miss it : (

Most of my friends have left already...only Rikki and Heather are left.  Heather leaves tomorrow, so then its just Rikki!  Thats so sad!!!!!  What will I do until the 24th?  Sadface.

Desperation


Throw a dog a bone,
I'll take it if i have to
Go real fast like there's somewhere we can get to
What's the use of standing right there on the edge if there ain't nowhere to fall
What's the use in hanging on tight to the phone
If nobody might call

Desperation
There's danger in frustration
Complicated words slipping off of your tongue and ain't one of them the truth
I'm still desperate for you

Tell it like a lie,
live it like a movie
Give a heart away like it don't mean nothing to me
What's the use in making all the plans that we made if you weren't gonna go
What's the use of slapping on a smile for a face if your eyes don't wanna show

Desperation
There's danger in frustration
Complicated words slipping off of your tongue and ain't one of them the truth
I'm still desperate for you

Well it's too damn bad you didn't have a chance to make me your best friend
You were too caught up in giving too much up and not doing what you should have been

Desperation
There's danger in frustration
Complicated words slipping off of your tongue and ain't one of them the truth
I'm still desperate for you


Wow, Long time.

So I have completely neglected this thing.  Oops.  I'm back at school and having a blast.  My Lit teacher is pretty much the shit and I want to be her. 

I love you Lisa Simon!

Things with Ali and Sarah are going very well and I'm pretty much in love with Dutchess (despite my allergies).  I'm going to get my PhD fo' sho' and I'm looking at Grad schools.  Unfortunately it looks like I'll have to move back east, which can blow me.  Its good that I'll be with my friends and family there, but sad that I might have to leave my college buddies behind.

Unless they come with me.  HINT HINT.

I also happen to be exhausted right now, so after this Dolly song I'm going to bed.  Night all!


Travelin' Thru
Well I can't tell you where I'm going, I'm not sure of where I've been
But I know I must keep travelin' till my road comes to an end
I'm out here on my journey, trying to make the most of it
I'm a puzzle, I must figure out where all my pieces fit
Like a poor wayfaring stranger that they speak about in song
I'm just a weary pilgrim trying to find what feels like home
Where that is no one can tell me, am I doomed to ever roam
I'm just travelin', travelin', travelin', I'm just travelin' on

Questions I have many, answers but a few
But we're here to learn, the spirit burns, to know the greater truth
We've all been crucified and they nailed Jesus to the tree
And when I'm born again, you're gonna see a change in me

God made me for a reason and nothing is in vain
Redemption comes in many shapes with many kinds of pain
Oh sweet Jesus if you're listening, keep me ever close to you
As I'm stumblin', tumblin', wonderin', as I'm travelin' thru

I'm just travelin', travelin', travelin', I'm just travelin' thru
I'm just travelin', travelin', travelin', I'm just travelin' thru

Oh sometimes the road is rugged, and it's hard to travel on
But holdin' to each other, we don't have to walk alone
When everything is broken, we can mend it if we try
We can make a world of difference, if we want to we can fly

Goodbye little children, goodnight you handsome men
Farewell to all you ladies and to all who knew me when
And I hope I'll see you down the road, you meant more than I knew
As I was travelin', travelin', travelin', travelin', travelin' thru

I'm just travelin', travelin', travelin', I'm just travelin'
Drifting like a floating boat and roaming like the wind
Oh give me some direction lord, let me lean on you
As I'm travelin', travelin', travelin', thru

I'm just travelin', travelin', travelin', I'm just travelin' thru
I'm just travelin', travelin', travelin', I'm just travelin' thru

Like the poor wayfaring stranger that they speak about in song
I'm just a weary pilgrim trying to find my own way home
Oh sweet Jesus if you're out there, keep me ever close to you
As I'm travelin', travelin', travelin', as I'm travelin' thru

Target, Love, and Ca$h.

Started training at Target.

Seems pretty neat.  I think I like Cashier-ing better....You know me. 

Fallon: Living life in the fast lane.

Thus far, being home has been great.  I mean, my anxiety attacks have increased any my allergies are killing me but I love my mommy and my Ko-ko.  Funny thing about Ko-ko is that she was always super independant and bratty...but now she's always coming over to me for a hug or a kiss or a scratch behind the ears.  I'm totally eating it up.  I really wish I could take her with me but everyone knows that wouldn't work.  It's really not even an option.

Verizon Wireless
sucks, BTW.  My father and I had a huge fight with them in the store about their policies and how they are just another money-grubbing corporation.  Unfortunately for our credibility, my Dad started screaming and cursing.  It was really embarassing, and I felt bad for the sales people even though they were cocky jerks.  I mean, I know what it's like to be on the receiving end of that...to be so disrespected and but not be able to say anything back.  I'm still mad at the manager and all of the people involved with Verizon, but I give them credit for even putting up with his antics.  I would have thrown him out of the store.  ESPECIALLY because there were young children around.

Anywho, I suggest you all read something(s) by Libba Bray because I pretty much think she is the cat's pajama's right now.

Also, I've been reconnecting with my heart recently and thusly obsessed with Love songs.  Check this one out...

Cupid
Cupid draw back your bow
And let your arrow go
Straight back to my lover's heart for me
Cupid please hear my cry
And let your arrow fly
Straight to my lover's heart for me

Now I don't mean to bother you
But I'm in distress
There's danger of me losing all of my happiness
For I love a girl who doesn't know I exist
And this you can fix So...

Cupid draw back your bow
And let your arrow go
Straight to my lover's heart for me
Cupid please hear my cry
And let your arrow fly
Straight to my lover's heart for me

Cupid with your arrow make her love strong for me
I promise I wll love her until eternity
I know between the two of us her heart we can steal
help me if you will So...

Cupid draw back your bow
And let your arrow go
Straight to my lover's heart for me
Cupid please hear my cry
And let your arrow fly
Straight to my lover's heart for me

Cupid
don't you hear me
calling you
I need you
Cupid
help me

Awake at 4 AM

Yet again.


I am awake.


At 4 AM.


FALLON GET OUT OF YOUR HEAD!!!!

WATCH A MOVIE OR SOMETHING!!!

Whatever you do, do NOT play the Sims2.

You love it too too much.


Also: Dinner at Nagasaki was good tonight.  I got to hang out with a lot of the people I missed and some of the people I didn't.  I'm glad I didn't make it a big production this year (I think anyway) because it was nice just  being super chill.  Maybe I won't head back to Montana early.  Right now it seems like some kind of beast waiting to swallow me up.  Just kind of standing on all fours off somewhere I can't really see.


Hugs are great when you love the people you get them from.

School almost over...

My Freshman year is almost over.

So sad!  My goal of developing a Freshman 15 has been foiled.

Yea. Both kinds.

So far, I've taken my Brit. Lit final and I think I did pretty well.

Tomorrow (technically today) I have archeology...which I should be studying for.

Quick side note:  Have you ever noticed how some people spell that word archaeology...and it's not always considered wrong?  Strange.

Then I'm off on Wednesday....Then it's Anthropology followed IMMEDIATELY by Music Technology.

I'm trying to figure out how to post some MP3 files on here so if anyone knows how...and you felt like telling me...I might give you a cookie...or a hug.  The MP3s are my Midterm and Final projects and I mostly want to put them on here because I want to hear them in a different environment. 

That and my Final project is Decemberists inspired.  I'm calling it Shankhill Butchers even though its a mash-up of that song and some kind of ghostly ship yard and the Siren level from Sudeki.

Great game by the way, I highly recommend it.  Not sure how my brother felt about it, buuut I loved it.

Back to my schooling.  I Love it here in Montana.  I'm not sure people believe me when I tell them that I'm so happy here, but I really am.  I mean, I'm no lark or anything but there is something about the way of life that makes sense to me.  The weather is Awesome too!  Tarkio complains about the long cold winter, but I loved it.  I'm told that there is still a chance of cold weather/snow so I'm Totally excited about it all.  I think it would be really nice if i could get one more day of flurries as my send off...as long as I wasn't delayed on my flight home.

The Missoula Airport = sucky :  [

That said: I do miss the East Coast.  I've been listening to a lot of Billy Joel lately and I really miss it all.  There is a distinctly Eastern feeling to his music, I think.  I'm not just saying that because he sings about New York a lot, but his settings are just so familiar to me.  I didn't realize the romanticism of it all before I came here.  Sure, Montana has its own charm...but there is something to be said for Urban life.

Its really hard splitting your life down the Mississippi.

And with the thought of life back east comes the recollection of past and present loves.  I don't hate it, the waiting.  Its not agonizing anymore...its more like I'm playing chess.  Its a slow game, a strategic one.  I enjoy the feeling of liking someone, or several people.  I like having people on my mind like that, and for that reason I'm glad they're there...even if nothing comes of it.

Uptown Girl
Uptown girl
Shes been living in her uptown world
I bet she never had a back street guy
I bet her mama never told her why

Im gonna try for an uptown girl
Shes been living in her white bread world
As long as anyone with hot blood can
And now shes looking for a downtown man
Thats what I am

And when she knows what
She wants from her time
And when she wakes up
And makes up her mind

Shell see Im not so tough
Just because
Im in love with an uptown girl
You know Ive seen her in her uptown world
Shes getting tired of her high class toys
And all her presents from her uptown boys
Shes got a choice

Uptown girl
You know I cant afford to buy her pearls
But maybe someday when my ship comes in
Shell understand what kind of guy Ive been
And then Ill win

And when shes walking
Shes looking so fine
And when shes talking
Shell say that shes mine

Shell say Im not so tough
Just because
Im in love
With and uptown girl
Shes been living in her white bread world
As long as anyone with hot blood can
And now shes looking for a downtown man
Thats what I am

Uptown girl
Shes my uptown girl
You know Im in love
With an uptown girl

My uptown girl
Dont you know Im in love
With an uptown girl
My uptown girl
Dont you know Im in love
With an uptown girl
My uptown girl

Play me like a Fiddle?

Feeling Better

Let's try to make ourself feel better before we sleep, ok Fallon?

WITH QUESTIONS!!!

List 5 celebrities you would have sex with without even asking questions.
Put all of them in order of your lust for them (1-5, 1 is the hottest).
Say which movie/show/thing it was that hooked you.
Supply photos for said people.
Tag five people

Dracula----Bram Stoker's Dracula
Ben Gibbard-----Death Cab for Cutie (Song: We looked like Giants/Show at the Tweeter Center)
Johnny Depp (As Sweeney Todd)------Everything
Brad Paisley------Song: Ticks/Little moments like that
Ray Liotta-------Goodfellas










Smokey Mountain Memories

Latest Obession:

Dolly Parton
Smoky Mountain Memories

Honestly, It's just a really great song. The version that I have was recorded live and she just sings it so well! I'm beginning to realize how awesome she is. I mean, Dollywood? That is just so cool. I was going to say "Kick Ass" but considering we're talking about Dolly Parton, I shouldn't curse. : )

It's super wholesome and heartfelt...It reminds me of Chester. I mean, not that Chester is that way...but it's such a cute small town. If I had a cat, I would name it that.

On that subject: Every time I go somewhere new, I wonder if I could ever live there. When I go to New York, I think about the people who live there. I think I could do it. It's very appealing to be in a city that never sleeps. Conversely, I like the fact that places here close at six. I mean, yea its annoying when I want to get some dinner or rent a movie or even catch the bus, but there's just something I like about it. And even further down the line of city-hood, is Chester. I'm sure that living there (on the hi-line, on the hi-line) may not be as exciting as visiting it...but it's just a super great place. It's really open and quiet...I think I also like it because it's also got this dark aspect to it. From what I understand, secrets aren't secrets there, they're known unspoken facts that drift between farms. It's sort of like they travel on the wind like pollen. You can feel it and see it when it finally sticks to something, but until it reveals itself you can only guess that's whats been making you sick this whole time.

Ugh. I think I went to far with that one...Here's some Dolly.

Smokey Mountain Memories

You ought to go north somebody told us
Cause the air is filled with gold dust
And fortune falls like snow flakes in your hands
Now I don't recall who said it
But we'd lived so long on credit
And so we headed out to find our promised land

Just poor Smoky Mountains farm folk
With nothing more than high hopes
So we hitched our station wagon to a star
But our dreams all fell in on us
Cause there was no land of promise
Though it's a stuggle just keepin' sight of who you are

Oh and these northern nights are dreary
And my southern heart is weary
As I wonder how the old folks are back home
But I know that they all love me
And they're all thinking of me
The Smoky Mountains memories keep me strong

You know I've been thinkin' a whole lot lately
About what's been and what awaits me
It takes all I've got to give what life demands
You go insane if you give in to it
Life's a mill and brother, I've been through it
I'm just thankful I'm creative with my hands

Oh and these northern nights they're dreary
And my southern eyes are teary
As I wonder how the old folks are back home
But I'll keep leanin' on my Jesus
He'll love and guide and lead us
The Smoky Mountains memories keep me strong

If I'll keep looking to the father
Keep our heads above the water
While the Smoky Mountains memories keep me strong